The Mental Load Test

Do you ever feel completely exhausted, even if you haven't done much physical work today? You might be carrying the Mental Load. Also known as emotional labor or invisible work, it is the unending, behind-the-scenes management of your household and relationships.

It is remembering that the milk is low, scheduling the dentist appointments, and anticipating family drama before it happens. Use this free test (calculator) to find out exactly how much of the invisible burden you are carrying.

The Mental Load Assessment

Select the tasks below that you primarily or entirely manage in your household. Be honest - if you have to remind your partner to do it, it counts as your mental load.

Household & Logistics

Admin & Scheduling

Emotional & Social Labor

What exactly is the Mental Load?

The mental load is the cognitive effort involved in managing a household, family, and relationships. Unlike physical chores (like doing the dishes), the mental load is the management of those chores (noticing there are no clean dishes, buying the dish soap, and asking someone to wash them).

Often, one partner becomes the "default parent" or the "household manager." When you have to tell your partner exactly what to do and when to do it, you are still carrying the mental load. You are acting as the project manager for your own home.

How to fix an unfair division of labor

If your test results showed a "Critical Overload," you are at a high risk for burnout and resentment. The key to fixing this is moving away from task delegation and moving toward complete ownership.

  • Delegation (Bad): Asking your partner to go to the store to buy eggs. You still had to notice the eggs were gone and add them to a list.
  • Ownership (Good): Your partner is completely in charge of breakfast foods. They notice when things run low, they buy them, and they put them away. You never think about eggs again.

Explore Real Dilemmas

Many of the stories submitted to our community stem from unbalanced mental loads. See how other people are handling (or mishandling) these exact issues in our Relationship Wrecks and Family Feuds categories.